Excited to the point that I know one of two things will happen. 1. I will be disappointed because the hype machine that’s been stirring the pot of my mind has made expectations unreal. OR 2. I will be moved off the axis off my life; I will be confronted with a life altering experience that although will be short – will be a powder keg to what I call “My life.”
I’m sure one or both of the people that may read this think I am exaggerating, but there is something stirring my soul every time I think or talk about going on this grand adventure. It starts just above my stomach and comes up to almost my tonsils and feels like I’m about to propose to my bride again. It’s contained anxiousness. It’s so many other things that I lack the vocabulary for…
April 22-24, 2011 I will be flying out of Louisville and landing in Denver; taking a rental car and driving up to Windsor, Colorado and spending my weekend at Ellerslie with Eric & Leslie Ludy.
In some ways this is not at all convenient. I’m an associate pastor and that’s Easter Weekend. I’m a husband and my wife will be entering her spring break. It’s not cheap and I’m paying down student loans. I’m 33 and most people look to be on average 23 from the pictures. I’m married and I suspect most that go aren’t. I feel like a spiritual teenager compared to most my age, having only really come to Christ 7 years ago.
At the same time, it’s just a weekend, not a semester or a year. At the same time there’s no better time than now. Why put off until tomorrow something for today? Look at this blog. I had all intentions of writing something weekly a year ago and what? 1 post later… I find myself so tired of the emotions and thoughts evoked from the words “church” and “Christian” to most people I know. I’m tired of the things I’ve seen over the last 7 years… I’m tired of the charade most play, the placating, the thumb-sucking, the backstabbing, the special circumstances for people who have the most money, who look the most like us, who we first approve of. I’m tired of the talking Christian who says everything Biblical but lives at a level so much lower. Be honest, we all know of a few – maybe many. We may have even been that way in one way or another before. It is much harder to find someone who is really real then someone who will say they’re a Christian. There has to be more to this life then the mediocre, powerless, stressed out existence that most find as a church leader. And that’s not just a well wish of my mind but a reality of the Bible and the Truth that is Jesus Christ.
Maybe you haven’t found that or think it’s a lofty idea, but I do not. I believe what the Bible says. If I don’t, then I’m wasting my time. There is a calling out of my soul for the sweet aroma of Christ. A yearning for more truth and more righteousness that can’t be found sitting on the sofa watching TV for hours, surfing facebook, playing sports, or even found in the latest Christian book. Did Jesus really die on the cross for me to thank him for the American Dream? I say no. Rather, I shout NO!
My time at Ellerslie can be something or it can be nothing; a lot of which depends on me and what I open myself to. You see, events like this aren’t what Christ has called us to and I don’t think that everyone has to go to Ellerslie and has to experience what I’m going to experience to be a Christian… but some times God can use events like this to set off an earthquake in our lives that moves us off our axis. It intersects our lives at a certain point and alters the course of it forever. It’s not that it was the event itself, but that the event happens to be a conduit of something life altering, game changing, straight kick you in the spiritual teeth… mainly a fresh baptism of His Spirit and drawing closer for fellowship with Truth, Joy, Grace, Love, Righteousness, Holiness, Justice, Life, Peace, and everything else that can’t begin to describe Jesus Christ.
I may be overhyping this on some range of a little to ridiculous proportions, but I’m not overhyping God. He’s bigger than me, this event, and everything I can comprehend, but he has a vested interest in me. He proved it when he sent his Son. So whether it’s this event or some awe-striking moment spent in the quiet time in His Word, I’m open to Him being the lightning and my being the lightning rod.
Strike me down to my core…
Stir my soul for you afresh and new. Empty what I think is me out, so more of you can shine through. Break me and pour my life over your feet, in worship and service for glory and honor to your name.